Monday, March 11, 2013

Birthday Weekend Extravaganza!

So after years and years of trying, I FINALLY turned 32 last Saturday!  To celebrate this monumental achievement that none of my 31 and under friends have even come close to achieving, I decided to celebrate all weekend long at the expense of others.

The weekend started out like most weekends, on Friday.  Met up with some friends for happy hour and dinner at a very hipster place called The Populist.  I knew it was hipster before because I couldn’t find their menu online and there was no sign on the building at all.  Just one lightly etched into the door.  I walked in, and went to the bar to get a drink while waiting on my friends to arrive.  Hipster sign #2:  The bartender, in his dark brown overalls and driving cap could easily have been a back up singer for the Lumineers.  I ordered a drink right as my friends walked in and after a few rounds we decided to order some food from the menu.  The food was a mix of unusual and overly intricate, but it actually worked for this place, where the prices were much lower than typical for a place with such a frou frou menu.  Hipster sign #3:  Hipsters can’t afford frou frou food….i mean they usually drink PBR for god’s sake.  We ordered some smoked fish dish and a duck Cuban sandwich, which you’ll be glad I told you after you look at these pictures and say, “WTF is that supposed to be?”

I woke up Saturday to a blustery, snowy morning. 

The “experts” called for anywhere between 6-14 inches of snow throughout the day.  But after about 4 hours (or two comfort movies) on the couch, I realized that we’d be lucky if even a ½ inch stuck to the ground.  So we ventured out Sat. night and after a delicious coconut filled dinner at Café Brazil, we headed out to some bars.  We ended up at an Irish pub called Doherty’s with the hopes to play Denver’s newest bar room drinking game:  Stump.  The object of Stump is to be the first to get a nail fully into a tree stump, without first hitting any part of the stump itself.  If one’s wild swing does happen to hit the stump, then one has to take a drink.  Playing this game while intoxicated is what makes Stump so thrilling, and yet, so dangerous.  Unfortunately, the crowd of douchebags surrounding the stump never seemed to thin, and by the time the bar closed at 2 AM (yes the bars closing FREAKING EARLY in Denver), we had gone without a single game.  We consoled ourselves with some late night / early morning diner food and realized with horror that the time had changed and it was 4 AM when we left!

Sunday, I woke up bleary eyed and frightened of this new time-forward future world I lived in.  I often think about Day Light Savings and all great things I could have done in the hour that the government robbed from me.  Then I realize I’m just mad because they stole an hour of prime TV watching and I get over it.  I hooked up with some friends Sunday afternoon and drove up to Nederland to catch the last day of the Frozen Dead Guy Days festival.  The festival in this extremely hippie town celebrates an old man that is cryogenically frozen in a Tuft garden shed in the city.  This is not a lie.  You can actually go view the man.  His grandson or something is paying for people to constantly put more dry ice on him to keep him frozen.  Only in Colorado.  Anyways, we caught a little bit of the coffin races (yes you heard that right) before we went to lunch and came back home. 

Finally, the weekend ended last night with dinner at Colt & Gray.  I made reservations for this restaurant with the hopes of catching a great discount during Denver’s Restaurant Week at a nice steakhouse.  Unfortunately, the restaurant didn’t have our reservation, and refused to honor their deal for the restaurant week.  So we ended up spending twice as much on some…unusual…food.  I mean the food was still good, and the entire cocktail list was named after things from Zoolander.  That was funny, although I never did quite get the reference.  My friends ordered this plate of pasta with sauteed duck fries.  And for those of you that don’t regularly watch Andrew Zimmerman, duck “fries” are testicles. 

Duck balls not pictured…it was just too horrific….

I didn’t partake in the dish personally, and could only sit back and think WHY GOD WHY?!?!  I have to think that all the neutered ducks walking around after that dish was made were probably asking the same question….

Finally, the night ended as I slipped and fell on some ice on my way to the car.  So this morning, as I write this blog, I’m thinking that my knee hurts and wondering who I should sue.  I’m also thinking when I turn 33, I HAVE to get in on those coffin races!

PS - It turns out we went to the wrong restaurant last night.  That's not where I had the reservation for.  Getting old sucks.

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