Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Little Boxes, on the Hilltop....

Before I say anything else, let me just state that it was 9 degrees when I left my apartment this morning.  NINE DEGREES!  Even worse, the wind chill was a whopping 1 degree!!  So yeah, that was cold.  I also realize that even though I own 4 really nice scarves (one was made by my mom!)  I have no idea how to wear a scarf, or when i do, it just looks enormous on me and I feel the life being choked out of me.  So yeah, they make great hanger decorations.

So at PAH (Project Angel Heart) last night, one of the volunteers was telling me about her prejudice against Stapleton, which is the neighborhood where I'm building my new house.  She is self proclaimed, "a little White Trashy" although I think she's just really cool.  But she thought that everybody from Stapleton was a perfect white mom pushing her stroller talking about the next marathon she was going to run before their vacation to Hawaii.  I get it.  If that was my impression of those people, I'd probably never move there.  I mean, I do sort of suspect that the existing Stapleton air tower that's remaining as a remnant of the old airport could easily be used as a Sniper tower for anybody that doesn't maintain a lawn grass level of 2.3 cm.

But then she started talking about how she heard there was a big swinger population in Stapleton, and the way they identify or communicate with each other is by putting a big rock on their front lawn...or front porch.  But this raised more questions....what kind of rock?  is it a big rock?  white rock? Is it polished stone, and if somebody just kicks a rock up on to my lawn, am I going to be answering the door to half-naked 50 year olds who are looking to party?  And of course this means that every single person that has anything that even resembles a rock near their house, I'll assume they are a dirty swinger.  In every master planned community there is some high level of debauchery that goes on behind closed doors, so this rampant swinger society is completely plausible.  This also got me to thinking who my neighbors will be in this brave new world I'm moving to?  I'm hoping for diversity, although all the ethnic people in Denver live just south of Stapleton, in Aurora.  Mostly I'm just hoping that not every single one of my White, Midwestern neighbors don't ask me, in the most unintendedly ignorant way possible, "So, do you cook a lot of curry?"


  1. I cannot wait to read your first post after moving into the new home. What if your blocks landscaping included a big rock or rock walking path in front of the houses. You'd meet your neighbors pretty fast, I'd imagine. HAHAHA!!!!!!

    - Anonymous (Chris H)...on wait

  2. Does this mean you're going to run the Disney Princess 1/2 Marahton with Me & Ann? You wanna fit in...right?

  3. No way, I'm breaking the mold. Although, I guess dressing up like a Disney Princess would be a way to stand out. Unless the swingers are into that....