Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The History of Our Future

Today is the 40th birthday of the cellular phone.  40 years ago, propelled by the technology of the car phone, some jerk somewhere invented a way for us to involve anybody within earshot in our daily affairs.  Now people at the bank, at the grocery store or even on the street could know what Jerry’s dog was doing on their neighbor’s lawn.  Yes, this form of charity, bringing your conversation to the masses, was progress!  And how we’ve advanced since then!  From the giant cancer boxes used in 80s television shows to the IPhone, we’ve come so far! 

I still remember my first cell phone, the Star Tak 3000.  I got it as a gift on my first day of college, as a way for my parents to become infuriated with me for never answering the phone.  I call this phone the original Razr, with its sleek flip top design.  Of course I still received ridicule for having an analog phone when all the rage were the new Nokias with their digital screen and cool Japanese sounding name.  PS – Analog phones were like those calculators where you can spell words like boob and hell.  And that’s pretty much all you could do with it.  But this ridicule sparked envy, and with envy, the race for having the best cell phone was born.

Now, 40 years later from the first cell phones, we are in a war of Apple vs Android, IPhone vs Samsung Galaxy, Brother against Brother.  This war has raged on for so long now, that the majority of companies making cell phones don’t even bother to check if people are actually talking to each other on them.  But with this competition, we will invent the next great leap in technology that allows us to shun face to face human interaction.  Maybe it will be Google glasses, or the UK version, as shown below:

Or more likely like this, considering how our current gun control debates have been going....


Regardless of what the future cell phone looks like, one thing is true.  Whatever you have right now is SO last year, and you should be ashamed of yourself for not having something better.

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