Thursday, May 23, 2013

ABCDEFGHJKLMNOPQRSTUVWX_Z

There are people in this world that are satisfied with the information they receive...they rarely question it, without having to fully embrace it.  I tend to be one of those people.  I accept the information for what it is.  One person's opinion or a reasonable statement of facts.

This post is not for those people.  This post is for the others.  The questioners.  The incessant WHYners (see what I did there?)  But make no mistake, I don't disagree with these people.  These are the fathers of invention.  Those who are not content to live in the status quo.  The college graduates, the philosophers, and apparently all 4 year old children.  So for you, the grand inquisitors of our generation, I give you these topics of WHY:

WHY does the Pope keep flip-flopping between being progressive and being a misogynist?  First he comes out and says these uppity Nuns need to slow their roll and not be so modern.  Then he makes a speech saying even Atheists are OK by the G.O.D.  Another question:  WHY does he make such magnanimous statements about Atheists?  Trust me Pope, they don't care what you think.

WHY can't a city like Denver, where you can run in 5K/10K/Marathon on a daily basis, get their act together on the exact distance of a half-marathon?  In the Colfax Half-Marathon last Sunday, race officials admitted that the course was 176 yards short.  Of course the Director was very apologetic to the people that have been training for this race all year and was very gracious about it right?  Of course not!  Director Creigh Kelley claimed there were no inaccuracies with the route and the complaints from runners were a "nonissue" that were "clearly meant to harm an otherwise important civic and community event."  But like all great nincompoops, he backtracked on his statement when they found out he was dead wrong.  And this wasn't even the first time the length of the course was inaccurate!  The first race, seven years ago, was .513 miles too long!  It's a set distance people....how hard is it to figure out?

WHY GOD WHY do people need to put all their business on  Facebook.  And WHY do they have to send messages to people, but announce it to the whole world.  Today my brother puts a Happy Anniversary message to my parents on Facebook.  Seriously, THAT is the best way to communicate that to them?  Let's talk about that.  You don't live in the same state, so from your options of calling, skyping, facetiming, texting, sending a card, etc, you should to put something on your own facebook wall to wish happy anniversary to somebody else.  Not to mention my dad doesn't even check his facebook.  Stupid Facebook.  If I wasn't so obsessed with other people's pictures, I'd have cancelled that business years ago!  Writing messages to other people on your own wall is akin to having a conversation with somebody while staring at a large audience.  It's a freaking magic show, or Clint Eastwood western.

Finally, if these questions haven't satisfied your craving, well, in the immortal words of Lavar Burton, you don't have to take my word for it.  See this video for the greatest Q&A to the eternal question, WHY???

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