Thursday, June 13, 2013

I'm No Yeezus, But I'm Half Way There

So I've been reading about this fantastic Kanye West interview with the New York Times.  In the interview, Kanye does several things to prove that he is bat shit crazy.  It's gotten to the point now where he doesn't even pretend to be a normal human being "just tryin' to make it..."

No, like Jay-Z before him, he too has basically declared himself a god among men (sorry Kanye, Kim K is NO Beyonce.....)

Highlights from the interview include:

1.  Comparing himself to Michael Jordan

2.  Saying that Steve Jobs had to die so he could take over as the household name for culture.

3.  Taking back his apology to Taylor Swift for ruining her awards moment.

4.  Using lines like, "It's only led me to complete awesomeness at all times.  It's only led me to awesome truth and awesomeness.  Beauty, truth and awesomeness.  That's all it is."

Really?  Is that all???

So cheers to you, you God among fools, who's finally jumped overboard into a vast ocean of his own ego.  You've lost yourself in the empty nothingness that is your personality.  Remember the last song you made?  Yeah me neither.....it was over a year ago already.  PS - Taylor Swift has had 32 #1 songs since then alone.  Just sayin'...

But for all his faults, the one thing I can't blame that joker for, is trying to be all that he can be, which is the segue into my next topic.  I've hit the 1/2 mark for my Couch to 5K training.  This is the point in the training where it's supposed to get hard.  WTF....it was hard from Week effing 1.  Who wrote this stupid training program?  Saturday I have to do a 2 mile run without dying.  So this will likely be my last post I ever write.   I guess, being my last post, I should prepare a eulogy.  Whoever comes to my funeral, will one of you please read this, as I'm slowly being lowered into the earth, and then set on fire (cos what's a funeral without a good bonfire??)

Ahem.....

"Here lies So & So...for the next 12 minutes before we burn his coffin.  He was a good man, for the most part.  In his life, he accomplished many things, but he was only especially proud of a few of them.  He once hiked 11 miles without dying.  Ironic.  He celebrated every major holiday with gusto:  Flag Day, Columbus Day, and MLK Day.  He worked for 10 straight years without ever learning what his job actually was.  He was co-editor of the greatest newsletter ever written since the history of words.  It is with great sadness that we salute this man, NAY, this hero today, who survived red tide, unsolicited beer chugging competitions, and sub 65 degree weather, only to be taken by a 2 mile run.  It's said that even after his heart stopped, his legs kept running, searching for the cure for some unknown disease.  He is survived by his family, his friends and his two known gang affiliations:  Tampa Training Team, and the Three Leaf Clover.  His burning effigy will be a reminder to us all of his greatness, and that it's time for s'mores."

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