Thursday, July 18, 2013

I Didn't Even Have to Use My A.K.

Today has been the perfect storm of awesome.  This morning I got to work and read my inspection report on my house.  The inspector found only a handful of cosmetic things that are easily fixable on the builder's part.  Best of all, during the inspection he was going aorund saying how everything he noticed was "the best in the industry" or "top of the line."  Even better than that, his report has pictures of the gas shut off and water shut off, which up until this point I had no idea where those things were.  Sure I had a general idea, and sure, the builder actually showed me in a previous walk through, but I was too busy taking pictures to pay attenntion then.  I had that same problem yesterday during the inspection so it's good that he provided a picture, with the shut off circled, and an arrow pointing to it.  Did the guy know me or what?

Today's also the first day where I don't feel like I owe anything to my lender right now.  Now it's just a waiting game for the underwriter to process my loan, but I'm pretty sure it's smooth sailing at this point.  Today was also the annual tenant's lunch for our whole office building.  That meant FREE lunch.  You could serve me pigeon on moldy bread, and if it's called FREE and involves getting in line (lines always mean it's good in my brain), I will eat it! 

And the VERY best part of the whole day?  It was another TWO DESSERT DAY!  Had a piece of strawberry cake this morning (made by yours truly), and then had a root beer float at the FREE lunch.  Cake AND a root beer float?  Best. Day. Ever.

Now if only I could beat level 65 on CCS, my day would be complete. 

I got to thinking, I wonder if things are just coming up me today, or if there's something about today itself that's rockin' for everybody.  So I hit the research button my keyboard and found several others....for whom, today is a good day.

Chris Reynolds is having a good day.  He opened up his June PayPal email statement, and found out that his account had been credited $92,233,720,368,547,800.  That's $92 QUADRILLION dollars (and change)!  To put it in perspective, that would make him over a million (A MILLION) times richer than the next richest man in the world, Mexican telcom mogul (aka drug cartel president) Carlos Slim (he's so Shady! see what I did there?)   I have a feeling that Mr. Reynold's tomorrow will be worse when PayPal takes the money back, but for today, he is living the high life.  He's supersizing his extra value meals!  He's not worrying about parking tickets!  Heck, I bet he even paid retail for the last book he bought!

American Horror Story is having a good day.  They received 17 Emmy nominations, which were just released yesterday or something.  I don't think I've watched an awards show in about 10 years, but I heard getting nominated is still a good thing.  I have seen the first season of American Horror Story, and if any of the following seasons were like the first, it was a well deserved nom.

Dustin Wray is having a good day.  While booking a hotel at the Woodlands Resort in Houston last month (yeah ok, so he HAD a good day), he decided to test the resort's customer service aka be douchey.  It's not his fault.  He's from Texas.  They're born douchey.  When he got to the special requests section of the online reservation form, he requested that his room have "3 red M&M's on the counter, and a picture of bacon on the bed."  Because no request is complete without a picture of bacon.  Much to his surprise and delight, these items were dutifully delivered and all his dreams fulfilled.  I imagine he squealed when he saw them.  And then probably went to some abortion clinic to shut it down.  I think that's the top form of recreation in Texas.  Stupid Texas.  Jerk didn't even leave a tip.

I'll tell you though, for every good day, there's probably several people out there having bad days.  Maybe none so bad as David Underwood of Fort Worth, Texas (stupid Texas...), who's house was demolished by the city.  Unfortunately for everybody, it was the wrong house!  They were supposed to demolish the condemned house next door, but instead, when Mr. and Mrs. Underwood came around the corner from what was probably their daily activity of lynching and equal rights stealing, they were surprised to find only rubble where the house once owned by their grandmother had been.  The good news is they hadn't quite moved in, and really, what better way to fix a fixer upper, than starting from the cement foundation up!  (that's all that was left of the house). 

Finally, since I like to have some form of visual aid in all my posts, here's a picture of a strawberry that looks like a dong.

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