Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Theme? I Don't Need No Stinkin' Theme!

Wow, I really fell off the blogosphere lately...(blogiverse?  bloglar system?)  Either way, I've been off the bloggler radar for awhile now, so it's high time I get back into the swing of things and give you a hefty update!  (Not like those other wimpy store brand updates.)

It's been yet another whirlwind of adventure for me over the last few days.  As you know from my previous couple posts, I was in NYC last week to "observe" training, which ended up being teaching parts of the training the two inept instructors were unable (or more likely, unwilling) to do on their own.  While that part of the trip sucked, I enjoyed going to some new restaurants, which I described in great detail in my last post.  One restaurant I hadn't mentioned was David Burke's Townhouse, which is one of the many David Burke restaurants.  It's very likely that David Burke won Top Chef at some point, because these days you can't open a restaurant unless you've competed on reality TV.  I can't wait for a restaurant featuring the whispered intrigue and sexual energy and abject racism of Big Brother.  Anyways, the only thing I took a picture of at David Burke's Townhouse was the butter.  That was, in fact the only picture I took of all the food I ate in NYC, and yet I was able to make two blog posts out of it.  Anyways, this is butter:

From NYC I jet setted (jet sat?) down to Florida for a few days to see me dad and the rest of the family.  My brother's family was in town as well, which meant I got to see my niece, Maya (aka Cousin It) who's 10 months old now.  This means she does such fancy tricks like, stand up, do squats, lick things, and say "ba ba ba ba ba ba ba" followed by dribble.  Then she stares at you while she's pooping herself.  I feel like it's the ultimate Eff You.  Anyways, this is what she looks like.  I yelled at her 6x during the trip to "Get a haircut you dirty hippie!"

When she's not licking things, she poking them.

I don't know what I was doing here....

After a short 4 day trip to FL, I flew back to Denver to get back into the grind of work.  This will last for all of 2 days before I start a 2 week assignment in Irvine, CA.  For those of you who don't know, Irvine is a suburb of San Diego that's basically right next to the airport, and where you have to stay when you don't get approved for a rental car.  Therefore, all I will see of California on this trip will be the lobby of the Embassy Suites.  I'll take lots of pictures, don't worry.  On my flight back, I watched two movies, which couldn't have been more opposite of each other.  Luckily for you, I've written really good reviews for both of them.  Spoiler Alert:  Both movies were rotten (See what I did there?)

Prince Avalanche

This is some indie movie starring Paul Rudd where he forgets to be funny and Emile Hirsch, who's that guy that you think you know from pretty much any indie movie that you watched on HBO in the hotel room that time when you should have been working out, but you wanted to see what this movie was about and 2 hours later you gave up and went to dinner.  The movie has no plot.  It's about these two guys that paint lines on the road.  Literally, that's their job.  The movie starts out with this black screen and writing, talking about a fire in Texas that destroyed a bunch of houses and killed 4 people and how they never found the perps.  So you think, ooooohhhhhhh snap this is gonna be good.  Then while the intro music is playing you go back and read the info on the movie and see that's it's an "absurdly funny comedy" so you think, "Oh man!  How are they gonna do that?!"  The only think is absurd was that this movie was labeled as a comedy.  Not once do you really understand what the point of this movie is.  In fact, I basically fast forwarded through the last 30 minutes hoping to find that point.  It never came.  This movie sucks, don't ever watch it.  If I see Paul Rudd in the street, i'm going to tell him Prince Avalanche sucked balls.

Olympus Has Fallen

This was a fast paced, action packed movie with lots of violence, destruction, bad assery.  My only regret was watching this movie with the sound on.  There's nothing quite as annoying as watching an action movie that is plagued with cheesy dialogue and conversations that are meant to advance the storyline.  It's an action movie.  Some hero is going to take more damage than everybody else in the movie combined, but will drop kick and fist pump their way through the ranks of enemies in order to save the President.  Do you really need dialogue to explain how that's going to happen?  Also, we have seen this movie before.  It was called Under Siege and starred Steven Segal.  Also Die Hard with Bruce Willis.  These are all the same movies.  Morgan Freeman was also in this movie, which is the only reason I rented it.  He sucked in his role as acting President of Not Making Decisions and Just Looking Concerned.  I feel like this is how Morgan Freeman is in real life, and therefore I don't want to know about it.  I mean he wears an earring in real life.  That's not the Morgan Freeman I want to know.  I want the Morgan Freeman that talks me through the life of a penguin, or an escape from Shawshank.  In fact, this movie would have been better if Morgan Freeman started this movie by narrating, "In 2013, a terrorist organization known as Korean people infiltrated and took control of the White House.  What happened next was truly something awesome, but best watched on mute."  I would recommend this movie, but maybe while you're talking on the phone to your mom or something.

Let's see....what else do I have to talk about?  Oh yeah.  Denver has the cronut!  Or at least their own version of the Cronut.  The donut specialty shop and winner of clever name award recipient, Glazed and Confused have invented their version of the cronut, called the Puffynut.  Clearly, their good naming ability was limited to their own name.  I don't know where they sell them, but here's a website that does.

That's it for today!


  1. So did you figure out where this glazed and confused place is? I went on their fb page, and did not find any info on its location. All I really saw was a picture of the creepy guy who makes these things lying in bed.

  2. hahaha wtf. That link says where they sell them...I mean they sell them at farmer's markets. I wouldn't go around asking people where you can find a "puffy nut" though.