Thursday, September 12, 2013

Is it Smited or Smoted?

As the third day of uncharacteristic and incessant rain continues to sweep north east Colorado, and we can only assume that Boulder has washed away in an epic flood, leaving only the scent of unwashed hair and freshly smoked weed, I can't help wondering if this truly is an act of God.  What if God, in his infinite wrath of a thousand bible thumpers, decided to exact vengeance on the state of Colorado.  But for what I wonder??

........political face slapping segue approaching.....

The only thing I can possibly think of is the recent successful recall elections of two democratic state senators, whose only crime was to vote their conscience on gun control laws.  Next, the recall train is headed over to the Governor's mansion, hoping to remove one of the most successful and best governors I've ever experienced in Colorado.  (side note:  he's also the ONLY governor I've experienced.)  (side note to the side note:  You're right it is kind of gross to say you've experienced somebody....)

Since when did we start using recall elections to oust somebody out of the senate because they voted.  I thought that was democracy....You voted in a way on this one particular issue that I in this county don't agree with therefore you are dunzo.  Seems pretty rash to me.  Of course I live in Denver, the last remaining democratic hold out in the wild west state of Colorado (now that Boulder has gone the way of Atlantis.)  But then, there's a lot of things that I don't understand.  For example,

........neck breaking 180 degree segue away from politics into lighter topics (you're welcome).........

1.  Why don't we ever talk about 2nd world problems?  If a third world problem is having access to clean water, and a first world problem is deciding between fiji and voss, is a second world problem only having voss, and not being able to afford it?  Maybe it's Russia.  That must be it.  Russia, you're a second world problem.  #secondworldproblems

2.  What if I took a picture of a hashtag, and captioned it, #thisisapictureofahashtag #Iownthenight #99problems #justinbeiber.  Would it break facebook/twitter/instagram?  #Ibetitwould

3.  How do male ladybugs deal with the constant sexism from the insect world?

4.  If William can be called Will, and Matthew can be called Matt, how did Richard draw the short straw and get the nickname Dick?

5.  WTF is a rainbow?  Science keeps trying to tell me what it is, and of course i say, oh yes science i get it.  But seriously, wtf is it.  I bet that crazy mantis shrimp's rainbow is the greatest thing ever viewed by eyes.  I heard a radiolab about it where they tried to convey the different spectrum of light that different species can see to the size of a gospel singing group.  Confused?  So was I, but it did make me want to watch Sister Act II (which is the best of ALL the Sister Act movies.)

I don't really feel like going all the way to 10 on this list, and I'm leaving in like 10 minutes, so I'll just end today's post with a hiaku.

If God is angry
Instead of giving back guns
He should take rainbows

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