The first ever recorded Fist Pump Friday came from a man named Geoff who texted a picture of Tiger Woods wearing his classic red shirt, black slacks combo, fist pumped furiously in the air after making a hole in one and beating racism once again. This was pre-scandal days, so he was much more celebrated for everything he did, but perhaps no more than for his fist pumpery. Geoff (pronounced Jeff. He's either German or his parents are just a-holes), may have started the tradition many many many years ago (2007 yo!), but he then fell off the face of the earth, leaving it to us mere mortals to continue.
So today's FPF is in honor of this fallen fist pumper. No, not T-Woodz, as he called himself to strippers, but Geoff, (pronounced Gee-off), who brought the acronym to a day sorely lacking acronyms. Everybody else gets one right? Manic Mondays, Two for Tuesdays, Wine Wednesdays, Throwback Thursdays, and now and forever, Fist Pump Fridays. Of course we're too lazy to come up with clever sounding names for the weekend, so we're stuck with the Fantasy Football Sundays, and Spend $300 on pointless shit at Ikea Saturdays.
It's rumored that Geoff (pronounced Guy Uff) actually created the fist pump, when watching Tiger Woods play at Augusta. But it was by pure accident. He, being a fan of Tiger both pre and post scandal, badly wanted to show off his awesome muscles to Tiger Woods so that they could become best friends. Geoff (pronounced Goo hoof) was in a frat, and that's what I assume frat guys do to become friends with other dudes. But when Tiger looked his way, and saw a man making the biggest muscle he could muster, Tiger confused it for some new move of celebration. Because anybody looking at Tiger at that time was probably celebrating the fact that he existed on this planet....the black son of black God. And that's how the fist pump was born. Well that's the tale anyways....told through the ages, until it became legend, and legend became myth, and myth became heroin dream, and heroin dream became the bible.
So here's to you, mighty Geoff (pronounced Jack Off), you creator of things, you! May you rest in peace, although you're probably alive. Here's a grainy picture that I assume is you, which I pulled from the internet, since I've never actually met you.
Happy Fist Pump Friday!!!