Thursday, October 3, 2013

The Unaffordable SCARE Act is what they probably call it on Fox News

Last night while searching for some batteries for the new TV remote I ordered, I slid over my new wood flooring and managed to get a splinter lodged deep into the sole of my foot.  I removed it, but am not clear if I’ve gotten the whole thing out.  Needless to say to it hurts like hell.  This morning, having to walk from the bus stop to the office, in what is only a 2 block walk, was hell.  So as you can guess, I’m in a pretty foul mood.

Which makes today the perfect day to get ALL POLITICAL UP IN HERE.  So if you can guess where this is going, and don’t like it, well, close your browser now.  If you continue to read this, and are mad at me afterwards…well…fuck you, I told you not to read it.

Because in my foul mood, and annoying pain, I want to talk about my favorite question.  WTF are the Republicans doing to this country?!?  We’re in day 3 of the government shut down, and yet they don’t to give up their fight against “Obamacare” as it’s annoyingly been called, in order to fund the government and give 800,000 people back their jobs.  I forgot what an awesome, inclusive healthcare system we’ve always had in this country that fighting the pervasive attack on that system is worth destroying the entire country over.  But it’s for the American people…you see, they don’t want Obamacare.  That’s why on its first day, the system was completely clogged by people scrambling to review and obtain insurance under the new policy.  I’ve never in my 32 years (ok fine only in the last 11 have I probably cared about politics), seen such an overt and stubborn group go out of their way to what can only be described as pouting, to get their way.  But that’s what happens when your entire party has it’s sack tied by a handful of people known as the Tea Party.  And just who are these unsung heroes…these “True Americans” that are holding the entire country hostage in a way that even Bruce Willis couldn’t save us from?

Well let’s see….you have Steve King from Iowa, who once asked elementary schoolers where they stood on the abortion issue.

Then you have Steve Stockman from Texas, who has advocated before for arming fetuses with weapons.

Then there’s the favorite of the furloughed employees, Phil Gingrey, who famously whined that he was “stuck” here in Congress only making $172,000, while his aides could go make $500,000 as lobbyists.  He also said that Todd Akin’s comments about legitimate rape were partially right, so you know, super classy guy!

Don’t forget Louie Gohmert from, of course, Texas, who said that the reason Obama wants to raise the debt ceiling is so he could celebrate his birthday.  Just sound logic right there!

Or how about Paul Brown from Georgia who laughed when a Town Hall questioner asked, “who’s going to shoot Obama?”

I didn’t even bring up my favorite of the lot, Michelle Bachmann.  I would need to dedicate a whole post just that that strange mutant.

Of course there are several more better known and lesser known fools involved, but you get the general idea of who we’re holding in high regard in the House and Senate these days.  Of course it’s just Obama holding the country hostage.  Forget the fact that most people believe the Republicans should just drop the Obamacare issue in order to fund the government.  Then they can start focusing again on their true cause:  Hanging unwed mothers and gays down in Texas.

It’s gotten to the point where Republicans just strategizing to confuse the American people.  Maybe if they keep saying they’re comprising, like Rand  Paul and Mitch McConnell talk about doing here.

Or maybe, if they yell at Park Rangers and blame them, they’ll shift the blame away from themselves. 

Or better yet, they’ll just be even more sexist a-holes and respond to legitimate questions by calling the female anchors “young and pretty.”

But in the end, I’m sure the end will justify the means right?  Because again, this is for the good of the American People, who just can’t stand this healthcare act that they have full looked into and think it’s so lacking.  I mean especially when there was another great plan offered to fix the system that nobody ever talks about anymore!  Instead of Obamacare, why can’t we just have the much much better Patient Protection and Affordable Healthcare Act?!

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