Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Back and Better Than ( Slash Just as Mediocre As) Ever!

When I first started at my job, we had to take this Myers-Briggs Personality Test to determine what kind of person we were.  Sure, it all sounds very Fahrenheit 451 of my agency, but I suppose it was meant to determine what kind of learning style we were best suited for, or how we would mesh with other members of our training team.  I don't recall what I was now...I think it was something like Extrovert, Sensory, Provactive, Considerably Psychotic....or something like that.  Well as I am sitting here eating my post-lunch halloween leftovers, I'm realize that there is a much better test for us to determine what kind of person we are.  I call it the Starburst Presents:  What's Your Flavornality Test.

Without divulging what the results of this test mean (primarily because I'm making it up as fast as I can type it, rank your preference of Starbust flavors from best to worst.  Keep in mind that if you say something like tropical melon, then you are NO friend of mine.  Mine rankings are Pink, Orange, Yellow and Red.  It's highly controversial I know.  I think the real travesty here is that there is no purple flavor.  (Now you can see where the considerablly psychotic fits in....)

What's the point of all of this?  Why, there IS NO POINT!  This was just a way to ease you back into the eccentric world I live in, filled with ranked flavors, and nonsensical rambling.  As you know, I've been away for twelve long days, out living a life of luxury in our nation's capital.  But now I'm back, with tales of glory to regale you with from my long journey away from you, my three faithful readers.  I just realized that two of you were on this journey with me, so I guess I better keep it honest.  Anyways, rather than a long post about everything I did, I'll keep it to the highlights (something I learned about in my training last week), and give you the Top 10 List of Things that Happened to Me Or That I Experienced Over the Last 12 Days.  (Clearly, coming up with better Top 10 List names was not one of those things...)

In no particular order....

1.    Successfully made people think I know about Interest Rate Risk by talking for 3 days about Quiznos sandwiches.  The lesson in this is anytime you have to give a presentation, talk about food.  People will be so distracted thinking about lunch they'll just clap for the mere chance of getting to it quicker.

2.  Rock scrambled for the first time.  Went on a hike on the Maryland side of the Billy Goat Trail, aptly named after the rocky terrain and vertical climb that only a billy goat should be able to do.  Somehow I survived...which I feel I say after every hike I've ever done.  After the hardest part of the hike, I may or may not have breyed like a mighty....goat.

3.  Found out that there are people in other agencies that just as crazy as the people in mine.  Including the guy who will talk forever given a platform to do so, the lady who repeats everything that other people say and pretends it's original, and the person who hates life so much, it exudes from every pore of their body.  In my head i called this last person, Frumpy Smurf.

4.  Experienced substantial beard growth.  I'm growing a beard as part of a facial hair challenge through work.  All participants are supposed to grow their beards until the week of Thanksgiving.  Then, people will vote on what style of beard they want people to trim to, and we will all wear it for the 3 days leading up to Thanksgiving.  I'm personally hoping we get a fu manchu, but I shall follow the will of the people.

5.  Maple Bacon Biscuits.  No explanation necessary.

6.  Getting other people addicted to Candy Crush Saga.  I consider this a personal victory.  It does have some bitterness to it though, as my mom told me yesterday that she beat the level I've been stuck on for a month. 

7.  Getting published in the Stapleton Blog.  This is not that big of an accomplishment since they asked me to write the whole article anyways.  But its out there.  You know I'm not happy with it, so you can find it yourself if you want.  I'm definitely not telling you!

8.  The string of great indie movies I've watched recently.  I love indie films for their lack of production and more human element.  You can relate to almost every thing that's happening in them.  For some reason I've seen a lot of "coming of age" time indie comedies that make me wonder if there's some deeper psychological meaning there.  I'm choosing to say no.  Anyways, I'll review the ones I've seen so far in another post.

9.  Finding out the damages to my car from that car accident a few weeks ago are now double what the original estimate was.  This is actually a good thing.  I'm hoping that the total damages will cause the insurance company to call it a total loss and just pay me out.  Then I can buy the Subaru Forester I've got my eye on, thus completing my transformation into a true Coloradan.  It does set a weird precedent that I only seem to buy cars after my last one was completely demolished.  I've walked away unscathed every single time.

10.  Finally, during my training last week, I made a cool new friend!  She works for another agency in Atlanta, and can quote lines from the office like it's nobody's business.  Plus she said the best quote of the whole week during our class, which was, "I might talk like a hick, but inside I'm Shakespeare!"

I just realized that this top 10 list was longer than some of my long rambling posts.  Ah well, hope you made it to the end!  As I end today's post, let us reflect on the short Autumn, which led to an early winter this year.  The air is crisp, and the defoliation has occurred prematurely.  Grab your coats and scarves, and hunker down for what will surely be, the coldest winter of all. 

Dark, am I right??!


  1. Seriously, who doesn't put red on top of the list? I guess that's what we mean by diversity.