Thursday, November 14, 2013

The Boss of All Blog Posts

Yesterday my boss asked if I wanted to sit in a conference call presentation that was being given by the former speechwriter for Al Gore, on "Selling Yourself", which PS - was not a business presentation on prostitution...at least I don't think it was...I missed the first two minutes.

Anyways, when I say he asked if I wanted to sit in, the convo went like this:

Boss:  Are you going to sit in on today's presentation?
Me:  Nah....it didn't sound all that interesting.....
Boss:  I think it would be REALLY good....these presentations are VERY interesting....
Me:  Oh....uh...yeah, maybe I'll check it out.

So yeah...I went.  When I went inside the conference room, my boss wasn't even there.  Apparently he was getting training on how to wear a hard hat and shiny vest and carry a rape whistle when there's a fire drill in 3 months.

So this presentation was beyond stupid.  After listening to this guy talk for roughly 5 minutes, it became quite clear why Al Gore was never considered a great orator.  (Don't look that up...I assume since I wrote it you'll just believe me.)  Also, not once during the entire speech did he explain how he got Al Gore to tell people he invented the internet.  I mean talk about selling an idea!  So basically it was a giant waste of time that ate up an hour before lunch. 

Speaking of lunch, today after lunch (smoothest segue ever!) they are having a live auction to raise funds for our Combined Federal Campaign, which is a big charity drive that the Gov. does every year.  The majority of the items donated are crap, like a homemade cigar box.  The ringer is a 3 night stay in one of the big boss's mountain lodges.  But the reason I'm going, is to see what kind of whack-a-doo bids on stuff like a baby bib with our agency's logo printed on it.  Or, being boss for a day, (with zero boss powers.)  The best thing though, are a pair of handmade boomerangs.  I'm not sure what use a boomerang has in this day and age.  And by age, I mean anybody over the age of 6.  That was the last time I owned a boomerang, purchased from the Museum of Science and Industry in Florida.  I think I got three good throws out of that boomerang until it landed on the roof of our house.  My parents, who never wanted me to have such a "dangerous" toy, told me it was impossible to get it off the roof....ever.  They also told such lies when i won a skateboard from a walk-a-thon.  They said they ran it over with their car because I had left it out on the driveway.  I found it in the attic like 10 years later.  They also hated a Homie the Clown t-shirt I got for my 9th birthday.  I found that thrown behind the washing machine when I was 16.  I think it's all a testament to my investigative (read:  stalker) personality now that my parents were so sneaky back then.  Anyways, what was I talking about?

I don't remember.  But my boss (word of the day apparently) did just make his 3rd round around the office, so I know have a good 30 minutes of uninterrupted CCS time before he makes another round.  Here's hoping I can finally beat level 125!

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