Monday, December 9, 2013

Listen Here Doll, This Weekend Was The Cat's Pajamas

With the holiday season upon us......That's the sentence that starts a lot of commercials, blogs, articles, etc.  during this time of year.  I thought if I wrote that out, it would give me inspiration to start today's blog.  But the minute I wrote, I felt the tight constraint of conformity starting to form around my blog, and I immediately had to switch gears.  Then somebody just walked in and started talking to me about printers and dentists, so now I've lost all momentum I felt like I built.  So let's just start over.

As you know, Monday blog updates are usually dedicated to summarizing my weekend shenanigans.  And this update is no different.  In fact the only difference I would say is the lack of pictures I'm putting in this post.  I know that disappoints more than a few of you, who only read the blog for the pictures.  (I'm like the opposite of Playboy.)  I promise I'll try to do better next time.  This weekend, with the backdrop of snow and freezing temperatures, was actually a weekend of celebrations.  Feeling like the most popular girl in school during prom time, I was invited to several parties on Saturday and got to pick and choose how to fill my calendar.  On this multiple choice test, I was invited to:

A.  A cookie exchange and ugly sweater party
B.  My boss's annual Christmas party (The whole District Office gets invited)
C.  A neighbor's housewarming / christmas party
D.  My friend's 2nd annual 30th birthday party

Take a minute and decide which two of these four parties I went to.  It's ok....I'll wait.
Got your answers?  Well if you wrote down A, you'd be dead wrong.  What about my life makes you think that I, as the only single person in all of Stapleton, would go to a cookie exchange ugly sweater party?  That would be the worst possible way to meet other single people in the neighborhood, if they even exist.  If you picked A, get your mind right!

An obvious answer would be B.  I mean, what better way to both score points with your boss, and get to check out his bank rollin' gangsta lifestyle than by snooping around his bathrooms?  But since schmoozing is on the list of things I'd rather be shot at than do, it wasn't something I was really looking forward to.  In fact, the only real motivation to going this was not disappointing my boss, since disappointing people is one of the worst feelings I get.  In fact my mantra might even be, If at first you don't succeed, find out who you disappointed and feel bad for awhile and then try again but make sure they know about it.  Yeah i know it's no Obladi Oblada but whatever, I'm no The Beatles.  Back to the core story though, I did NOT go to this party.

So with those choices eliminated, if you guessed C and D, then you know me well!  For me, if I was going to use up any schmoozing credits, it would be for the purpose of trying to make new friends.  Best way to make new friends is to worm your way into their lives.  This was made ever so easy by going to their housewarming party.  These people have lived in Colorado for awhile, so they have a fairly big circle of friends.  The guy's family actually grew up near by so of course there was ton of people there who were way older and not necessary for me to meet, but I still made the rounds.  While there weren't many, there were some single ladies there that I noticed immediately, but in true D.O. fashion,  I spent the majority of the night talking to the old guy that was their pastor at their wedding, the really old lady who literally, "fell and couldn't get up" outside the house, and needed to tell me about it for 20 minutes, and the one really cool lady who I totally connected with and had a great conversation with only to find out she was moving to another state in 2 weeks.  But whatever, it was all about getting known.  And I think it worked, in good part thanks to a trick I decided to use.

I've always found when introducing myself, people get so scared at the thought of having to remember how to pronounce my name that they either forget they ever met me, or butcher my name so badly, that when they bring me up later, the person they're talking to politely just nods having no idea who they're talking about.  So this time, instead of wasting time repeating my name a bunch of times, I decided to just introduce myself as "the neighbor."  And it worked!  Some lady who I've forgotten now actually said to me at the party that "she heard good things about the neighbor."  No such thing as bad press!

Finally, after the requisite amount of meet and greet was over, I high tailed it across town to celebrate my friend's birthday.  For her birthday, we went to dinner at a very awesome, authentic Japanese restaurant located in the warehouse district.  I call it the warehouse district because that sounds cool.  Like how San Francisco has the meat packing district.  Just sounds cooler.  Anyways, this restaurant was very good.  My friend was served a bottomless fountain of sake that was her birthday present from the restaurant.  I had some yakisoba udon, and there were rice krispies on the sushi.  Life was good.

After dinner, we went back to her house and played camp games while drinking.  We were going to go to Denver's best speakeasy, William & Graham, but that never happened.  Too bad, because I had been practicing my 1920s dialect for the specific purpose of going there and using it.  But the games we played were fun, especially some strange repetition game which may or may not have been a cult indoctrination....or the 12 days of Christmas.  All I remember of if now was saying "One Duck, Couple of Geese, Three Brown Bears, Body of Christ, For the Blood Master of Destruction...." or something like that.

So yeah, that was the party circuit on Saturday.

On Sunday, some friends came over and we went to brunch to the most pork-tastic restaurant in all of Stapleton.  Afterwards, and the real reason I wanted them to come down, we came back to my house and I gave their 5 year old son an early Christmas present.  I bought him an awesome Penguin looking sled and we made attempt to go sledding down some hills by my house.  I say attempt because the thin layer of snow covering the ground was not that great for sledding, but the icy sidewalks we couldn't see did help give some momentum!  After an hour or so of sledding, snowball fighting, and yelling at what I claimed was a wolf inside a dark tunnel, we went back to my house and made Sweet Potato biscuits, because why not?  And thus, here is the only picture I took this whole weekend:

They're vomiting marshmallows

So yeah, that was my weekend.  Recognize game, son!

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