Thursday, January 16, 2014

Blue Langentine Productions: You May Already Be Part of this Matrix

As some of you know, I am the Founder and CEO of Blue Langentine Productions, a Sports, Media, Food, Social Media, and Clothing conglomerate that invests in local start up companies.  Blue Langentine Productions was started on the idea that no idea is too crazy, or too unique, and that creative people should be encouraged to develop new ways of improving the quality of life of humanity.  At Blue Langentine Productions, nobody should just be a BLP on the radar (see what I did there?  BLP = blip?  no?)  In that vein, Blue Langentine Productions has invested start up capital in several ideas brought to us over the course of 2013.  One young man, a hot new entrant into the local culinary scene, developed two great food truck ideas that are just in the intial stages of thought right now.

Biblical Bacon is a food truck concept that focuses on developing quick, gourmet meal options that use bacon as the focus, as opposed to a $1 add-on.

And of course there's the much celebrated Sip N' Slobber, which requires no explanation.  But out of pride in this man's idea, I'll explain it anyways.  This conceptual truck would serve a much underserved population of Denver.  The Sip N' Slobber provides wholesome, nutritious meals to people and their life long companions who stand just a foot or two off the ground.  No not their kids, but hold on, I gotta write that one down....  I'm talking about their pets!  Now no pet will be jumping trying to steal that nacho plate off their human's hands.  Instead, they'll also get to enjoy the over-priced, small proportioned meals that food trucks are famous for!

But just when you thought that we were a one trick pony, Blue Langentine Productions entered into the clothing empire dominated thus far by P. Diddy.  An entrepreneurial young man came to us with the idea of a new clothing line for people who needed warm clothing that could be easily be torn off when the sun came out.  That was the short pitch by Go Hulk Clothing, which proves that tear away sweaters are not just for strippers anymore!

Aside from Food Trucks and Clothing Empires, Blue Langentine Productions has even invested in rising sports stars, with it's most recent investment in a growing professionally amateur olympic future ping pong legend who goes only by the name Sea Turtle.  Poems will be written about this young man one day.

And let's not forget the entire online empire, where Blue Langentine Productions thrives.  In the online world there are two types of websites.  Pornography, and people looking to create porn (i.e. dating websites.)  That leaves an entire demographic of people who are just looking to have an actual experience without the requirement of a spouse.  And also that's not watching porn!  That's when a future leader of America came to us with the idea of a new website focusing on Solo-Mooning.  Solo-Mooning is the art of enjoying all the benefits and out-of-world experience of a honeymoon, without the requirements of a spouse!  Because with Solo-Mooning, you no longer have to be married, to make a merry memory!

Those are just a few of the ideas that have come to us here at Blue Langentine Productions.  For tax purposes, all of these entities are incorporated in the Bahamas under shell corporations, and Blue Langentine Productions will be free and clear from any responsibility should they all fail miserably, but I don't foresee that ever happening.  If you have a great idea, and nobody else will buy into it, contact one of the million un-paid employees and get your idea out there....to the world!

and FYI, we're actively looking right now to hire a new design firm...first project will be coming up with a better logo for our corporation.




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