Tuesday, January 7, 2014

If Only Every Sequel Took it to the Streets

So after my marathon day at the airport yesterday, (12.5 hours of airporting until I finally boarded my plane!), I occupied my 4 hour flight by watching two movies on the ol' Kindle Fire.  United's updated policies allow electronic devices to be on during taxi, takeoff and landing, so gone are the days of missing the last 6 minutes of my movie before the rental period expires.  To this day, I still don't know how that one Matt Damon movie where people in hats reset time ends.  I hope they explained the hats though.  I hope it wasn't just the director's way of saying, only hipsters can change time.

On this flight, I watched two movies.  Combined these movies included extreme violence, nudity, drugs, alcohol and expressive, rude language.  So thankfully, I was sitting next to a 7 year old girl for the entire flight.  Perhaps the best thing about the kindle fire is the ability to hide the screen completely when cradled appropriately in the nook of your elbow.  This has saved me from being arrested on a flight many times.  Damn R rated movies should have a spoiler for people flying when something graphic is about to happen.

Anyways, the first movie I watched was Red 2.  Red 2, as the name implies, was the sequel to the movie Red.  The original movie, starring Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren was about 4 old, retired CIA/MI6/LMNOP operatives that are being hunted by the very governments they worked for, and who prove that no matter how many liver spots you have, Morgan Freeman can still kill you while speaking in soft soothing tones the whole time.  That movie, in its original incarnation, was a surprisingly fun, action packed well made movie that nobody ever heard about.  The sequel was anything but.  I'm not sure who directed this sequel, but they decided to Michael Bey the hell out of it.  What was a decent action movie became a car chasing, gun shooting, (but never hitting), campy, bad joke telling, building exploding snore bomb.  I mean, this movie made Anthony Hopkins into a bad actor.  It's unlikely that he'll ever recover from it.  And they didn't even bring back the young version of Bruce Willis from the first movie, who's now the lead on the new futuristic crime drama Guy and a Robot, or whatever it's called.  That's also a show I watch solely for Minka Kelly, who has like one scene where she whispers her line every episode.  But I digress.  As did this sequel from the original movie.  The only person who remained consistent in Red 2 was Mary Louise Parker who continued to prove she had no business being part of storied franchise.  So yeah, I would say watch the original, and then pretend like you never knew there was a sequel.  I mean everybody knows sequels are the worst.  Except for Step Up 2, but that's only because they took it to the STREETS.

The other movie I watched was Drinking Buddies, starring Jake Johnson (from The New Girl), Olivia Wilde, Anna Kendrick and Ron Livingston.  I have no idea what Ron Livingston is from, except from that one show that Jim Gaffigan was also on that was a comedy but had no laugh track but kept the awkward pauses FOR a laugh track.  It was about....sports?  Anyways, despite not really knowing where he's from, this was a really good movie about friendship, unrequited love, awkwardness between men and women in any kind of relationship and mostly about drinking, all with the back drop of a brewery.  I liked the indie feel to the movie, and that the characters were all relatable.  It's like I was watching the movie saying to myself, "yeah I think that in that circumstance that's exactly how I'd feel about how all of this is going down, and they're able to show that just in how he's standing there looking at her!"  Really really good job.  I was going to tell you who the Director/Writer is, but after reading about him a little bit on IMDB, he seems like a douche so don't worry about it.  I guess he just got lucky with this movie.

Anyways, that was that.  I got home at like 1 AM this morning, so decided to come into work a couple hours late.  So that's nice.  As usual, nothing is happening at work, so I've already started writing out my to-do list for the weekend.  It's arguably the best to-do list I've ever written.  So far I've got:

1.  Make bread in new bread maker.
2.  Go to VooDoo Donuts
3.  Get a dog


1 comment:

  1. My friend reminded me yesterday that Ron Livingston is from Office Space. I am an idiot.