Wednesday, January 15, 2014

If You'd Like to Slowly Descend into an Abyss of Despair and Absurdity....Please Hold!

In the real hierarchy of evil today, the list is ever growing when it comes to those individuals or group of individuals whose very existence does more harm to our world than we can ever truly recover from.  Oh sure, list has always included attorneys, dentists, and Fox News, but the real enemy is much worse than those three groups combined.  It is of course, Fred Loya Insurance Company, El Paso, Texas, with another location in Hell.

As you may recall, I first made contact with Fred Loya back in early October, when one of their esteemed, insured drivers (who had exactly 1 months worth of insurance) plowed into me at a stop light, because the sun was in his eyes and he couldn't see the light.  Apparently, he couldn't see the stopped cars in front of him, or the moving cars that were driving at full speed in a perpendicular direction to him.  Anways, after two long months, and a general lack of contact of help from the people at Fred Loya, I finally was able to get my car repaired and returned to me in tip top condition.

Fast forward now, a month later.  Yesterday, I get a call from the car rental place that after several unsuccessful attempts to contact Fred Loya, somebody at the insurance company put in a system message that they would only pay for my car through 11/22/2013, because "that's when my car was done."  Where the facts that led to that conclusion came from are beyond me, since I said, I hadn't heard from anybody at Fred Loya before that point.  After several obsessive psychotic attempts to call anybody at the insurance company, I finally got a low level employee in their claims department to hear my plea.  She, having a full heart and compassion, immediately tried to get off the phone with me by sending me to somebody's voicemail.  I told her that I understood that it was company policy at Fred Loya not to ever respond to voicemails, so I told her that I refused to be transferred to anyone who wasn't at work at that exact time.  I think my exact words were, "Just take a second and look around you right there anybody walking around that can help me?  Anybody who actually comes in at 9 AM central time like all your voice mails claim you do??"  I WAS finally transferred to somebody who said they would at least put a note in the system to show the full time my car was being fixed, and would try and get a hold of the appropriate person to resolve the outstanding $380 bill with the car rental place.  Because if not, that's the bill I'm all of a sudden stuck with...for a car accident...that wasn't my fault...

Anyways, today's lesson is, never accept being sent to somebody's voicemail.  And before you're ever transferred to anybody, get as much information on that person as you can from the low level employee that just wants to go on another smoke break because, "today was the wrong day to quit."  You need to have that person's name, contact info, hobbies, fears, and medications.  I've been on the phone with enough customer service people to know that calls seem to "drop" when you're waiting for a manager too long.  Also, the incessant use of speed dial is a helpful tool as well.  You leave a message once.  Then you call back 100 times.  Eventually somebody will get so annoyed by the constant ringing that they'll realize it's just better to take your call.

Now this may work at a lot of places, but I think Fred Loya teaches the art of obfuscation and avoidance.  They are experts at ignoring you.  You have to become as sociopathic as them in order to beat them.  But then you have to wonder....once you've gone that deep into car insurance psychosis....can you ever come back?  CAN YOU?!  I don't know...  What does this drawing mean?

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