Monday, February 24, 2014

Based on a True Story

Sometimes in writing this blog, I like to experiment with different styles and formats of communication.  Sometimes its through the age old practice of lists, which allows me to jump from topic to topic seamlessly.  Much easier than the times that I write stream of consciousness.  But all great stories come from pushing the envelope on not only content but HOW that content is delivered.  Thus, in today's post, I will delay re-telling of the adventures I went on this weekend with the family in town, in order to explore a different method of story telling, through the less ancient art, of Messenger Conversations. 

Act 1 - Epilogue:

Friend:
there is a toddler in AZ with an IQ of 160
she can read at a 5th grade level
and taught herself spanish in her parents' iPad
Me:
geez
scary for her parents
who are already stupider than she is
the first time her parents yell at her to go to her room
Friend:
hahahah
Me:
she'll probably provide them with emancipation papers
which will suck for them because she'll have a much higher paying job than either of them combined
so their salary stream will end
Friend:
she is the youngest person inducted into the Mensa group
Me:
and they'll have to continue making new children in hopes of having another genius
Friend
hahaha and not messing up!
Me:
who will all grow up to have complexes that they were competing with a sibling they never even knew
and of the 6 additional children they have, 2 will probaby have some kind of sociopathic tendancies that grew from feelings of inadequacy, turned to resentment...initially focused at the parents
then turned outward to the world
Friend:
that sounds like an awesome movie plot
Me:
they will become a 2 person serial killer team
which the BAU will not realize until it's too late
Friend:
BAU?
Me:
and the mensa genius is found hanging from her childhood bedroom ceiling fan
BUT
before she dies, she'll leave a series of clues that only other members of Mensa can decode
(yes this just went from Criminal Minds to The Da Vinci Code)
Friend:
but, each of them will die before solving the code
hahahha
Me:
exactly
except for Sharon Stone
Friend:
AND then all of them will have Mensa burned on their chest
Me:
who will have a public reveal, this time NOT of her cooch
Ok i'm telling a new story, you're just changing things from the actual Da Vinci code
Friend:
but no matter how you find them, upside down or down side up, it will read Mensa either way
hahhaha
sorry, ok, go on
Me:
where was I
oh yeah, Sharon Stone revealed not her cooch
Friend:
whats her face not showing her cooch
hahahaha
Me:
anyways, so then they'll realize who it was, and the irony of it being this brother/sister team
Friend:
:-O
that's a twist!
good one!
i'm so excited
i can't wait to read this book!
Me:
But when it goes to court, the knife used to kill their sister will be missing from evidence
and so there will be a mistrial
but as they're leaving the courtroom, with throngs of protesters outside screaming for them to be hung (more irony)
a lone bullet from a sniper rifle will fire and kill the brother
leaving the sister screaming into the air
and we'll never quite know who that shooter was
nor will it matter
because all we'll then see is a THIRD brother....only referenced a couple times earlier on...walking to the grave site of his long dead parents
and slowly...but methodically digging up his parents graves....and in one he'll lay the missing knife
and in the other he'll lay his police evidence locker badge, and himself
and it will start raining
and the camera slowly pans out into the sky
Friend:
hahhaa
ok, now, take all this you just said and make it last 90mins
Me:
and the last scene is just a flash of ligthening before the Lincoln Park end credits song plays and ppl start leaving the theatre
Friend:
haha
Me:
this movie will do poorly at the box office
Friend:
i can tell
Me:
because it came out the same weekend as The Lego Movie
Friend:
well, depends
who is in it?
oh
hahhaa
Me:
and it will buried until TNT starts playing it 15 years later, every other day on repeat
Friend:
yipee
Me:
and then people will watch it
Friend:
somethign to look forward to
ok, that's enough
i'm hungry
Me:
and they'll say, wow...this must have been on the last movies Phillip Seymore Hoffman's ever been in
Friend:
not sure how much longer you can take this story
gasp! :-O Capote!
Me:
And people will watch it over and over analyzing his state of mind in the movie
it will be theorized that he was method acting, and the director convinced him that he needed to start shooting up to really BE the role of 3rd brother
of course it would be impossible to prove at this point, 15 years later
and after about 4 months, the talk will die down...TNT will have moved on to replaying all the Steven Segall movies over and over again
and people will forget
The End
Based on a True Story

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