Oh Shia. What happened to you man? According to IMDB.com, Shia LaBeouf is a real person. His credits go back as far as 1984, where he starred in the now lost, single-camera shot movie called, "Birth." Since then he did small roles in stuff I never heard of, or just skimmed through until he found his place among the Hollywood elite, when he landed the starring role in Even Stevens. I'm not sure if he played Even or Steven, but I assume this show was basically Pete & Pete without the controversial casting of gingers.
After 3 solid years of acting on a network that allowed an extreme amount of profanity as long as you just change one letter in the word, he left TV and decided to try his luck in movies. He starred in the iconic tale of a kid in a concentration camp ordered to dig holes for some unknown, senseless purpose. The movie, Holes, would go on to be seen by
The signs were all there. First came the self-mutilation, by way of starring in 3 transformers movies. Next, and perhaps as a result of these movies, came the sexual obsession. He started seeking roles that prominantly featured sex scenes, going as far as performing actual sex on camera for the, you know....art. Because it's not porn if it's directed by a German guy named Lars right? Wait...I think ALL porn is probably directed by a German guy named Lars. But farther and farther down the rabbit hole he went. And in Bynes like fashion, Los(t) [Angel]es Beouf finally went off the deep end. Case in point, here's a recent picture of him, at what I assume was some awards event.
Then, at a Berlin Press Junket, promoting his new film which I'm told is not porn, after being asked something about having sex on camera in what I'm told is not porn, he responded by quoting a former French soccer player by saying, "When the seagulls follow the trawler, its because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea."
He is also currently missing a bottom tooth, which when coupled with the previous examples, pretty much proves he's a meth head now. Oh and I totally skipped over the part where he plagarized a movie script, and then plagarized the apology for plagarizing the movie script when he got caught.
That's not being very even....Steven.
That's right. You just finished reading an analysis of Shia LaBeouf. That's how bored I am right now. Today wasn't a total loss though. I did find this awesome trailer for all the Harry Potter movies....if they were honest.