Monday, February 10, 2014

Next on A&E: Animal Rehab

When you're single, and more  importantly, extremely lazy, you tend to find yourself sitting on the couch for hours watch re-runs of Gilligan's Island and playing stupid games on your Ipad where you realize everybody you're playing with is 11 years old.  That's just fact.  So oftentimes, I find myself thinking, gosh...I wish I had more things to do to occupy my time.  Such was not the case this weekend, where I ran myself ragged all over town and still didn't accomplish everything I set out to do.  But having a deficit of time with all my well overdue home improvement projects is not a bad place to be.  Or at least it's better than watching Gilligan's Island....ever.

On Friday, I started the day off with some delicious banana walnut pancakes from my go-to brunch spot in Denver, DJ's Cafe.  On this particular morning, I was treated to a taping of HGTV's popular show, House Hunters.  I was told that they were taping the part of the show where the couple makes the decision on which house to get, although while I was there, they spent most of the time talking about how they met, what kind of styles they liked, and whatever other nonsense the people felt like saying.  This couple was like most probably normal couples who are on TV for the first time.  The lady laughed nervously while her husband proceeded to vomit out doucheness for 30 minutes straight.  I wish somebody could have taped them so they could hear how stupid they sounded.  Oh wait.  Anyways, the best part of the show is that I'm pretty sure the back of my head will appear in that episode, so yeah.......I'm prettttty famous.  Keep your eye out for House Hunters Denver:  The Douche's Decision.

After breakfast, and a stop by the central library to search for some old photos of Stapleton International Airport, I went to the movies and saw The Monuments Men.  In this movie, an overcrowded cast of characters doesn't care if you really understand how they got together to search for art in war-torn Germany during WWII.  Nor do they expect you to think about how weird it is that Hitler is in several scenes but never says anything.  Seems really un-Hitler like if you ask me.  Finally, the one thing the movie does want you to know is that Matt Damon's character's faith to his wife is infallible.  That scene took like 30 minutes to unfold and had no bearing on the movie's plot.  But I guess they needed to give Cate Blanchet more screen time?  Anyways, this movie, like art, is a bit pretentious and targeted for all the old people that can see a 2:30 PM movie on a Friday afternoon.  I would say the best part of this movie were my craisinets, but I also almost choked on them halfway through the movie too.

But that wasn't even the biggest epic fail of the day.  Later that night, I went to a friend's house to watch the opening ceremonies for the winter olympics.  The opening ceremonies might be the ONLY part of the winter olympics I watch.  My friends don't have cable though, and apparently the internet doesn't know how to stream time lagged broadcast events on major networks, so that didn't work out so well.  Instead we had to have "conversation."  TV was created so you'd never have to do that!!

On Saturday, I went to IKEA once more, this time to buy a new bed for my guest room.  Since my brother's family and my sister are coming to visit in a couple weeks, and I own a home now, I've decided gone are the days of guests sleeping on air mattresses.  Of course, to buy one bed at IKEA is not a simple task, and requires at least 6 different boxes.  And each box has about 4000 individual parts, and each part requires the strength of a lumberjack and the patience of a Buddhist to install.  I spent a good majority of Sunday putting together this bed, and got about 75% of the way through.  It's sad how sore I am today as a result of this....but a workout is a workout right?

Next time I'm just getting a piece of plywood.
After the IKEA trip, I went with some friends to see The Lego Movie.  Based on my last post, you might think that I believe any movie with too many good actors would be bad, but this movie proves the exception to the rule.  This movie was jam packed with amazing talent.  Will Ferrell, Will Arnett, Elizabeth Banks, Alison Brie, Charlie Day, Liam Neeson, Morgan Freeman, Jonah Hill and THE Channing Tatum and many many more made this a cleverly done, funny movie.  But the best part of the movie was probably the medium it was done in.  The entire movie was a meticulous adventure in stop motion playing with legos.  So cool.  Go see it.  I highly recommend it.

What else did I do?  I also went to a new brewery near my hood that night with my neighbor.  Good beers, although the bartender did tell me I know nothing about beer since I told her I didn't like the IPA she made me try.  She was joking, but it cut deep.  Real deep.

Finally, on Sunday, in between bed construction, I drove all the way up to Fort Collins to go "see a lady about a dog."  (NOT a euphemism.)  My dog adoption search moved a step closer to actualization as I met this dog, featured here:



I don't know if this dog is just really good at interviews, but she is sweet, quiet, and has the appropriate amount of patheticness that anybody would want her.  She also didn't make a lot of noise, meaning there's a good chance she's a mute.  They said she doesn't know any basic commands, which means I will probably have to send her off to boarding school, where I can only hope she doesn't join the Skulls and develop a cocaine habit.  That's how that works right?  Anyways, we'll see how this all progresses, and if she does develop a drug problem, I'm sure there's a way to capitalize on that too, right?


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