Monday, April 7, 2014

The Answer to "Whatever Happened to Humanity?" is Answered By The End Of This Post

A typical working Friday for me is usually like untangling head phones.  It's a long, frustrating, arduous process that is inevitably destined to repeat itself regularly.  Usually though, I have some entertainment from the friends on the other end of the Windows Messenger line that keep me company until their East Coast time ends and they go home.  Then it's just two hours that I stare into the madness of eternal boredom.  This past Friday however, nobody was there.  I rang and rang, and nobody was on the other line of instant messages.  So there I sat, 8 straight hours....exceeding my daily internet usage and finding it lacking in substance.  I started to think about some odd things like, did Sam ever get bored between quantum leaps?  He always had a mission but I wonder what he did between plot points, and when Al wasn't there mysoginizing women, what the heck did he do to pass the time?  It's not like he could read blogs or reddit.  If it was me, I'd go place sports bets.  Back to the Future II taught us that it's a successful way to get rich quick.  Eventually he went back to his time and he was probably broke because he didn't have a real job and lost all his money powering a machine that ping ponged him through time (although it got weird in the Series Finale when you find out it's God quantum leaping people, which he learns when he's just sitting around in a Q.L. way station or something with other people energizing in and out.  That show got weird.....)

 - Anyways, between that and searching for pictures of myself on the internet (my regular and pretty much only security measure taken online) I some how managed to get through the day and start the weekend.  This weekend, I stayed out here in DC and visited with some friends who live nearby.  We did many things like, eat.  And then we ate more .  Then we went to a place to eat.  And then we went somewhere else and we ate food.  So...pretty much an ideal weekend if you ask me.  Highlights from the weekend include:

 - Started Week 5, Day 1 of C25K.  Found it's much MUCH easier to do with friends.  Also running in a new location always helps too.  Although I do miss my run near my neighborhood where I play mental Whack-A-Mole with all the prairie dogs lining the sidewalk.  It's not's a carnival game!

 - Ate a 16 ounce prime rib, and was able to contain the rage that mass quantities of red meat instill in human beings.  I don't often eat beef, but when I do, I prefer mass quantities of prime rib.

 - Witnessed an apple tatin (pronounced Ta-TEEEEEEEN) being made in a rice cooker.  An entire new range of possibilities arose.  What's next??? A pie in a bread machine??  Hamburgers in a steamer basket?!  Who knows what we can do in this brave new world!!!

 - Walked around Bethesda Row, which is an area in Maryland with cool shops and restaurants.  I went into one shop which specializes in clothing made from Merino wool, a thin, warm fiber made from a specific kind of sheep.  Their "hottest" item (see what I did there?) is woolen underwear...which sounds....sweaty.

 - I saw Captain Avenger 2:  The Improved Plot.  Let me qualify my thoughts about this movie by saying that I don't go into super hero movies expecting a fantastic story line, Oscar Wildean dialogue, or even feasible action sequences.  I go to them to see super heroes do super hero stuff against super villains, who are being all super villiany.  If you want anything more than that in your movie, you probably should go see 12 Years a Slave or something, because you won't find it here.  That being said, this was one of the better plots in a Marvel movie.  It reminded me of an older political thriller time flick with unknown forces changing the history of America.  So that was kind of cool.  Plus I didn't know they did this in theatres now, but apparently we were sitting in the Director's Cut version, based on the two jokers sitting next to us in the row who talked through the entire movie.  No joke...from the moment they sat down, till probably well after I left, these fools were fact spewing every scene in the movie.  The worst moments came when the lady started squealing at one of the scenes....or maybe it was when the guy was getting a nerd boner at some of the characters that showed up.  Luckily, another good thing about super hero movies is that they lend themselves to long, loud destructive sequences that drown out even the douchiest of audience members.

Finally, I'd like to conclude today's blog with a story about my time up in Bethesda Row on Sunday.  Since I have no pics to upload, let me paint you a picture.  It's a cool, but sunny afternoon.  Highs in the upper 50s.  The air is clean and brisk as we walk from shop to shop.  I've just had a nice coffee with no less than 4 shots of espresso in it.  There are people milling about, either eating out on a patio at one of the many restaurants...or window shopping and thinking about buying woolen underwear.  As I turn a corner near the Barnes & Noble, I see a man playing an electric cello.  He was playing a U2 song he's moved on some Taylor Swift.  This is well appreciated by the many children listening.  I step into the bookstore to use the restroom before we leave for the day.  It's getting late...and I'm getting tired.  After I come out of the restroom, I walk up to the first two employees I see, who are having what appears to be a pleasant conversation about who's coming in on the shift that evening.  I excuse myself for interrupting them, and then have the unique "pleasure" of telling them,

"I'm sorry if this ruins the rest of your afternoon, but somebody took a crap in one of the urinals...."

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