Thursday, May 15, 2014

3 AM Thoughts About Mrs. Scarborough

In my 9th grade English class, every month we would have to do some sort of presentation on a book we read, off whatever nationally prescribed non-book burning reading list that was the going concern of the day.  These presentations were typically short, and could be anything from a full blown report, to something as silly as a diorama.  The most popular option, though, was a "book bag."  The Book Bag was literally a paper bag that contained items that represented different, meaningful parts of the book.  The great thing about a Book Bag is that you could be as creative as you wanted, and the farther the stretch, the more points you got for finding the symbolism in the story.  What this usually turned into for me, was a mad dash the morning of my presentation searching for items that I could plausibly use in my Book Bag.  Whether it be a stress ball that could represent the pliable nature of the lead character, who always seemed to bounce back and come full circle (That's like 3 symbols alone!)  Or a toy airplane, which represents that most of the story really took place in a much higher "plane" of existence.  Or a stapler, (which was suspiciously missing off my teacher's desk that day...) which represented...uh...the...um...binding  contract between author and reader that what we are entering into is an intimate tale of...uh....I forget.  I think I got a "C" on that one anyways.  Of course, the problem with this technique is that, while you might think it the epitome of lazy, you'd be surprised by how much more lazy I could get.  At some point in the year, I stopped even replacing the items in the book bag and just tried to use the same 3 things each presentation.  Pretty soon the "F's" started rolling in.  Still the best English teacher I ever had.

But the great marvels of the world are not made by lazy students who enjoyed reading, except when told he had to.  No, they are made by people much better than me.  And I don't just mean the Eiffel Tower, or sliced bread (which I understand is the bar for greatness.)  Even more local things, such as the new Union Station in downtown Denver qualifies.  I went to the grand opening of Union Station over the weekend.  There's nothing quite like a brand new structure.  Fresh paint without a scratch.  Halls so shiny, it's hard to even imagine the gang related graffiti and pictures of boobs that will be plastered all over the walls in a few short months.  But knowing that this beautiful structure would be pristine for only this moment in time, I tried my best to preserve it in pictures.





Of course I say all these things while entering my 7th week in D.C., which is nothing short of the greatest collection of man made marvels in the country.  I am scheduled to go see one myself in June, with some coworkers who I fear greatly.  No seriously....I'm going with the 5 scariest people I know.  To the top of the Washington Monument.  Where nobody can hear my screams. 

Anyways, I'm way too tired to writing anything else today.  Unfortunately after two good nights of sleep, my body rejected the idea of going to bed early last night and I woke up at 3 AM.  Not being able to go back to sleep, I decided to go have a quick work out at the gym at 5:30 AM, which is clearly the stupidest thing I could do.  Heck, I didn't even CHECK if HBO had something good on.  What's happened to me?

Oh yeah before I go, this also happened over the weekend:


Because it's just totally normal in the Middle of May to effing snow.

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