Thursday, May 1, 2014

The April of it All

Forgive me followers, for I have sinned.  It has been exactly 13 days since my last blogfession.  But before you chastise me, and before I start saying my hail marys, (or it hail merries?) (Tony Hale?)

Well whatever it is, you must understand that this blog started as a way for me to pass the time while waiting for my Candy Crush lives to replenish during my do nothing day in Denver.  But since coming out to DC, the core hours of my day have been filled with something I haven't seen for many years now.  Something I didn't even believe existed anymore.  I'm talking about work!  I have things to do!  I stay late finishing them!  I look at the clock and say cliche things like, "where did the time go?" as if it went faster for me than for anybody else!  And it makes me happy.  I'm more alert throughout the day.  I feel healthier.  Even my posture is better.  I'm not slouching, watching clips of Jimmy Fallon lip sync battles on youtube.  Actually....that I miss.  My health has gotten better, with my constant running, although my wine intake is at an all time high.  Good for the heart right?  A bottle a day keeps the nightmares away?  Isn't that how it goes?

Anyways, I know why you're here.  You've been salivating at the mouth waiting for it.  You want pictures, not this archaic text nonsense.  So without further ado, (but plenty of future ado after this post, cos who knows when I'll post again), here's my April:

First off, if you haven't figured it out, or just forgot, I'm in DC for 3 months.  Possibly 4.  Here's proof.  The photo you're about to see is not an illusion.  I just take crooked pictures.


Also, as if the Washington Monument wasn't phallic enough on it's own, I got a shot if after it went through puberty.














Then, on a day where some of you were celebrating marijuana's nonsensical holiday, I celebrated the holy day of Easter, aka Zombie Jesus.

The ritual begins with mixing of the unholy colors

The ritual ends with the praises to god that this is finally over

My contribution.  Satanic Judaism egg and possibly Alien egg.
After Easter was over, and I went back to Denver for a weekend, I did a great many things.  Most important of these things, was running in that 5K that I've been bitching and moaning about for months now.  I will say that I did not perform up to my own expectations for how much I'd run, but I had fun, completed the race, and got more purple powder farther into my ear canal than I can ever hope to recover.



What else?  I went on a little nature hike in Denver recently too.  I guess you might like some pictures of that as well?

Earth!

Wind!
Yucca! (I mean Fire!)
Water!


Heart! (I mean irate prairie dog wondering how this tree got planted on his house.)
Now, I know that, typical of this blog, you were expecting possibly an over-analyzed complaint of my day.  And believe me when I say I'd like nothing more than to give you that.  I could tell you about this bat shit crazy people I work with up here...the stories I've heard.  I could regale you with tales of my nightly adventures with wine.  I could dissect the very nature of my every movie I've seen on plane rides in the last 4 weeks (and it's a lot!)  But I am not going to do those things.  Is it because I've reached a point in my life where I'm just happy and don't have the anger in me to do it?  Maybe.  But most likely, it's because I lack any kind of focus or attention span due to my daily over indulgence in these little guys:

Whether you're 3 or 33, this is the best shot ever.
 So that's it for now!  Hopefully I can have one boring bad day that will fuel a whole post of the crazies out here.  I have SO much to tell about them all!

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