Monday, August 4, 2014

The Subtlty of Subtitles

Friday after work, I rode the rails, much the same way that homeless people have been doing it for years, and as further represented by the animals of Madagascar 3, jumping into a train car, wondering if the people I would meet in there would be friendly hobos or pyschotic killers stabbing me for my loot.  Slash, I bought a round trip ticket to NYC on the Northeast Regional Amtrak train.  The ride is roughly 4 hours from DC, and I was lucky enough to find a long lost friend on the train.  After running out of things to say to said friend after 20 minutes, I was even more lucky she was getting off in Baltimore and I'd never have to see her again.

The rest of my ride was a blur...I watched a movie (review to come at a later date) and played some Pet Rescue, and listen to the gentle sounds of my grumbling stomach, angry that I had decided to not feed it laying on the hotel bed (instead of working out) as I had done every other day that week.  Thankfully, the train did in fact get me to NYC safely (and stab free!)  Upon arrival at the hotel, my friend and I immediately walked to Chinatown for a delicious and impressive meal of Chinese Hot Pot.  Hot Pot is basically simmering broth that you cook various meats and vegetables in.  In our selection below, we decided to only get a few items....

Clockwise, congee, spicy broth and herbal broth.  We didn't know how to eat any of these.

Above two photos:  Fried tofu skin, beef, tai gon? cabbage, blue crabs, chicken, shrimp, rice noodles, mini sausages, straw mushrooms, silken tofu, and deep fried tofu.  Later on we also got udon noodles, bok choy and lamb.

So yeah just a few things.  I tried to convince my friend to get the pig brains, but he wasn't having it.  We were woefully unprepared for an authentic hot pot experience, as the lady replacing our burning broth with fresh normal looking broth quickly realized.  I think by the time we finished eating, we had started getting the hang of how to eat it.  That must be why babies cry so much.  They just don't get it!

The next morning, cool and quiet after an early rain shower, we went down to pay our respects at the reflecting pool and World Trade Center.

After a quick breakfast in TriBeCa, we walked for what seemed like miles, and what google maps verified were miles through the West Village, and presumably other villages.  On such an unusually nice summer day, my mind wandered to a faraway time when all the villages of NYC were separately run fiefdoms (Gangs of New York style) and the West Village was probably bourgeoisie land of forested huts and a growing art scene.  Now it's mainly just a mexican restaurant called Dos Caminos.  But these idle thoughts led me to early afternoon, when another friend joined us and our real New York adventure began.  After a walk down the Highline, we went and had lunch at Grimaldi's Pizza Place or something, and then walked around finding bars, and bakeries and black and white cookies.  Of course, during all of this a great distraction was weighing heavily on my very soul.  *Cue sorrowful music, with haunting lilt to produce feelings of discomfort and intrigue

During our weekend, trouncing about the streets of Manhattan, my friend wore barefoot running shoes.  These shoes, which resemble feet that have been walking barefoot for 30 years, are the very representation of everything I hate in this world.  FEET.  To highlight the ridiculousness of these shoes, I'd like to take you on a visual tour of our day through the Hollywood magical trick of FOOT-O-VISION.

Seriously, these shoes make me happy there's psychos out there chopping off peoples' feet.

Gross Feet riding the subway

Gross Feet drinking a maragarita

Gross Feet eating banana pudding from Magnolia Bakery

Gross Feet standing on a sewer grate

In that last picture, the Gross Feet were probably staring longingly at this string of shoes hanging from a power line....hoping that the sewer grate would just collapse beneath them, ending their miserable lives.....  (Too much?)

Some of the aforementioned antics while this was going on included the following:

Eating black and white cookies

Wondering if bartenders understood fruit "garnishes"

Looking perplexed as I took a shot

Getting yelled at for not taking his shot
Things I didn't take a picture of include going out in Brooklyn to find hipsters, a group of super drink young Chinese people, and a homeless schizo singing Iggy Azalea.  Yeah....we definately didn't get drunk at all this weekend.


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